Laurel's Little Book Review #3: Twice Upon A Time in Hollywood

Admittedly, I put off reading the third book Harper Perennial sent me to review, because of some personal distractions needing my attention, but when I picked up the tome from first-time novelist  out of Knoxville, Tennessee, I read all 333 pages in less than two days. 

Not all up-and-coming writers have blurbs of praise on their paperbacks from Chris Willman of Variety, and this writer, unlike many freshman in the publishing world who boast M.F.A.s and snooty lit magazines in their credits, earnestly lists his outsider, a-typical background in his author bio: “Born in 1963…he is the writer-director of nine feature films and the winner of two Academy Awards for Best Original Screenplay. He lives in Los Angeles and Tel Aviv.” I’ve always rooted for the dark horse, and am happy to support this budding talent with a review. 

THE BOOK: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, by Quintin Tarantino  

WHAT HAPPENS: We open in the office of Marvin Schwarz in Hollywood, 1969. Rick Dalton a fading TV actor who (among several characters in this book) drinks heavily and-not-in-the-fun-way to mask his undiagnosed bipolar, has taken a meeting to see about shifting his career from playing the Bad Guy on Westerns at home to playing the star of probably bad Westerns in Italy. 

We soon learn that Rick’s best-friend-on-the-payroll is Cliff Booth, a roguishly-handsome blonde 46-year-old stunt double whose scenes interested me more than Rick’s. Perhaps because Rick mostly runs lines at home while drinking himself into a stupor or grapples with his insecurities on set while Cliff gets away with murder at least three times, briefly considers being a maq aka Parisian pimp after WW2, and adores his pitbull Brandy except for when he enters her in deadly dogfights –  but only when he really needs thee money.

Or perhaps, because Rick’s scenes felt oddly familiar while many of Cliff’s did not. 

Rick lives next door to Roman Polanski and his “sexy little me” bride, Sharon Tate. We cut back and forth between these characters and the misadventures of dumpster diving hippies who happily pass Venereal Diseases to every man who gives them a ride or day-old potato in hopes of pleasing their pimp daddy, Charlie Manson. 

WHAT I THOUGHT: The irony of the auteur who made his name for writing movies like novels writing a novel like a movie does not escape me. Neither did certain scenes and backstories that I would go out on a limb to guess the studio asked Mr. Tarantino to please omit because audiences tend to have a hard time rooting for a dog-fighting, homicidal pimp, even if he is Brad Pitt. 

I enjoyed the three-page non-sequitur in which we learn why Polanski asked the DP on Rosemary’s Baby to replace a well-framed single shot of Mrs. Castevet with a dirty one. * DISCLAIMER: I did attend and graduate from NYU and spent freshman year saying things at parties like “how can you say Tarantino is entirely derivative when he’s freshly effective enough for us to be talking about him right now?”  *

READ IF YOU LIKE: Tarantino movies, or inside-Hollywood shows like Reboot, Episodes, and Entourage but think they lack politically incorrect rhetoric and anti-heroes who chop their wives in half with spear-guns for being “f*cking c*nts”. 

GOOD FOR: Reminding yourself how much you’ve grown since freshman year of NYU, and having an answer when haters say, “You bum, all you do is stream movies. What was the last book you even read?” 


RATING: 🥓🥓🥓🥓 Thank you for the book, Harper Perennial. I see great things to come from this new voice!

Laurel's Little Book Review: Spies & Lies with The Vixen

Here is my very first "Laurel's Little Book Review". I'm very excited Harper Perennial asked me to start reviewing new titles for them and happy this new historical fiction by Francine Prose was the first one. Here are my review and brand agnostic Cliff's Notes:

THE BOOK: The Vixen by Francine Prose. Published by Harper Perennial.

WHAT HAPPENS: We open on Coney Island, June 19, 1953, the night of the Rosenberg’s execution. For those who don't remember A.P. US History, Ethel and Julius Rosenberg were charged and convicted of spying on the behalf of the Soviet Union, and became the first American citizens to be put to death in the McCarthy Witch Hunt-bonanza. Our protagonist, Simon Putnam, a young Jewish Harvard student, is watching this ghoulish activity with his parents, who happened to be neighbors with the couple. Also, I Love Lucy is on TV.

We cut to Simon on his first day at work. He’s a junior editor at fledgling publishing house Landry, Landry, and Bartlett, and his boss Warren (who hires women based on breast size) has hired him to replace a female editor he fired for getting pregnant. He may have gotten her pregnant, but still. How unsightly.

Warren asks Simon to edit his first big assignment: the story of the Rosenbergs told as a tawdry bodice-ripper, written by a femme fatale type who lives in a mental institution and likes to have sex on roller coasters. His conscience doesn’t like this, but his penis is intrigued…

WHAT I THOUGHT: There’s twists, there’s turns, there’s 5 martini lunches. I laughed out loud at some of the character descriptions and was chilled by some of the dark spots.

READ IF YOU LIKE: LA Confidential, The Paris Wife, and stories of conspiracy, the 50’s, and naughty CIA agents.

GOOD FOR: Reminding everyone you’re learned while reading fiction at the beach.

RATING: 🥓🥓🥓🥓

Laurel's Little Book Review #2: What to Know about What Jonah Knew

Here we go, Laurel’s Little Book Review, by way of Harper Perennial who decided to start sending me free books to ramble on about, Episode #2: 

THE BOOK: What Jonah Knew by Barbara Graham. Published by Harper Perennial.

WHAT HAPPENS: We open in true thriller fashion with a downright scary cold open from the POV of Henry, a handsome young musician with a loving partner and baby on the way who has just been kidnapped by an unnamed assailant – but he doesn’t know it yet. And here I thought SVU didn’t premiere till Sept 22nd. Dun-dun.

What happens to Henry? We have to wait and see as we cut forward, back, and forth through the early aughts between his mother Helen Bird’s desperate search for him and arrested grieving (she refuses to accept that he’s truly gone) in a seemingly idyllic Hudson Valley type of town, and a young NYC couple, Lucie and Matt Pressman (a women’s magazine writer and eye surgeon, respectively) with a son of their own on the way. 

Tempted by the siren song of suburban life, Lucie goes to that same exact seemingly idyllic town solo at 9 months pregnant to see if it might be time for her growing family to do that thing. She doesn’t find a house with a white picket fence and a dog, but she does go into labor in a bakery owned by Helen Bird – who ends up being the first person to hold Lucie’s son, Jonah. This is our set up. 

As time jumps forward, Lucie can’t help but notice Jonah acts a little…strange. He seems to know things about the missing Henry Bird and almost think he is him…

Can Jonah help solve this cold case? Can Helen move past the loss of her son (aka cut her hair which she has sworn not to do until he’s found). And most importantly, WHODUNNIT?? 


WHAT I THOUGHT: An easy, breezy read though some of the dialogue and descriptors read like Stephen King’s list of writing “don’ts” (adverbs abound, adorable little kids as sweet as sugar plums, etc.). Not to say every thriller has to haunt your Kubrickian dreams; let’s call this an Aperol Spritz version of The Shining. 

There were a few minor inaccuracies that bugged me and the kids were just too darn cutesy for me. This is not to say you won’t enjoy it over a weekend. I kept picturing what nest Helen’s long hair must be after not cutting it for a decade which was as scary a thought as the set-up. Split-end maintenance is so important. Think if Mare of Easttown was on Lifetime, this is that.

READ IF YOU LIKE: Psychics, cupcakes, and Netflix thrillers like The Weekend Away. 


GOOD FOR: Proving you can take a break from streaming Shondaland by reading a book that pairs well with popcorn.


RATING: 🥓🥓🥓1/2

Dilettante on Dilettante with Dana Brown!

This episode kicks off our author series as I sit down with writer Dana Brown, whose memoir "Dilettante" recounting his tenure as a Vanity Fair editor during the roaring ’90s and aughts is making waves from book clubs (mine) to big media (articles linked below). We discuss his process from book deal to publication, underwhelming ayahuasca, and if the infamous truffle mac ’n’ cheese at The Waverly Inn is really worth the price tag.


I highly recommend "Dilettante" for his pithy narrative, celeb-drenched hijinks, and the welcome hit of nostalgia for a bygone area of excess, glossy magazine glamor, and robust corporate expense accounts. Catch the full interview coming soon to Laurel’s Little Show in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and IHeartRadio.



More on Dana:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/10/books/magazine-industry-memoirs-anna-wintour-dana-brown.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/johntamny/2022/05/18/book-review-dana-browns-entertaining-and-insightful-memoir-of-vanity-fair-dilettante/ https://airmail.news/issues/2022-5-21/divine-intervention



Also Mentioned:

The Chiffon Trenches, Andre Leon Talley (mispronounced here as "In The Chiffon Trenches")

Airmail, https://airmail.news/